Anyone who knows me knows I like a drink. I may have moved on from the dancing on the table & shot drinking days – but it’s always been part of my identity.
I’m not sure what triggered me to take my head out of the sand.
BUT I did shift my mindset. I think it was a mixture of small events. Like not making it to an exercise class I’d committed to. Being impatient with the kids a few too many times. And a few hundred conversations I’ve had with clients along the way.
How much DO you drink?
You might thinkyou know how much you drink. But do you really?
Particularly at a brunch, lunch or a dinner party, when someone else is keeping your glass topped up.
There are tons of apps out there for this, which can help make the whole tracking process less dull. The jury’s out when it comes to my favourite but here’s a few to look at:
Although no amount of alcohol is good for your physical health, women in the UK are advised to stay below 14 units per week. Which is around 6 or 7 standard 175ml glasses of grape.
Do you drink more or less?
No judgement – but if moderation is your goal, then you NEED to know what your starting point is (your actual starting point, not the one you fool yourself with!).
Step 2: Get Clear on the Benefits
If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent a long time gleefully lapping up the headlines of anyresearch suggesting drinking is beneficial. Without allowing yourself to dig any deeper.
So – blinkers off – I dived deeper into the harmful effects of alcohol as the most lethal drug on the planet.
A few things stood out (and form part of my ‘why’).
In terms of health, I struggled to find benefits. Instead, I found that drink was classified by The International Agency for Research on Cancer as a Group 1 carcinogen (similar to arsenic and asbestos). Check out the research here.
The list of illnesses in which drink plays a contributing factor is shocking, check out the research here.
But I want to shift the focus – because drinking less can have many, many positive effects.
Like a better immune system; better skin; weight loss; clarity of mind; better parenting; less risk of certain illnesses; and generally feeling more able to live into the values that are most important to you.
And those are the things I want.
Step 3: Abstain
Ok! This is the bit I struggle with.
As a strong advocate of the anti-diet movement, I’ve seen first-hand (for myself & my clients) exactly what happens when you’re told you can’t have something.
It’s suddenly ALL you can think about. You want it even more.
So to me, the thought of abstaining for any length of time seems ridiculous and counter- intuitive.
That said – there IS a substantial body of research that suggests in order to moderate your drinking, it’s a good idea to abstain for a period of time first. Both to lower your tolerance levels, and to signify & transition yourself into this new phase.
If abstaining from drinking completely means it becomes the only thing you can think about (and you fear this could lead to a binge), perhaps consider a shorter period and think about your level of dependence.
Having been on sober Ladies Night this week – where the free drinks were flowing freely – my top tips for this abstinence period are:
1. Don’t socially isolate yourself.Yes, by not seeing your friends you’re avoiding temptation – but you’re also isolating yourself and sucking the fun out of the process.
There may be some situations you might want to side-step, but you also want to build evidence that you CAN still have fun sober socialising (have you ever done it?).
In this period, try to feed your neurotransmitters with evidence of the good times you CAN have without reaching for a drink. Focus on the benefits, rather than the struggles.
2. Find a soft drink you really like. Water’s my drink of choice – and super healthy – but not much fun! Finding a soft drink you really enjoy will make the process easier. My drink of the night was Tonic and Cranberry.
3. Reward yourself. Think of all the money you’ll save! Why not use this money to treat yourself to a massage, new bag or something else you really want? Something to celebrate your accomplishment.
I’ve committed to 3 weeks of abstaining without cancelling any social engagements and adding in more exercise commitments as motivation. And now I have announced it here, there’s no turning back!
Step 4: Plan for Moderation.
For most of us, the reason ‘dry January’ doesn’t lead to more moderate drinking in future is because there’s no plan for February.
If you want moderation to be part of your life, you need to plan for it ahead of time and then practice it again & again until it becomes a habit.
1. Make sure you know what your cues are. Do you reach for a drink when you walk in the door from work? Every evening after dinner? At brunch with friends? In what situations are you most likely to drink more than you wanted?
I’m a social drinker. I rarely drink in the week or when I’m alone – but there are danger zones for sure, where I drink way more than I need to. Usually a brunch with friends, travelling with the kids or at barbeques.
2. Plan in detail what you’ll do in that situation– when you’re likely to be triggered to drink more than you would like.
3. Could you match every drink with a soft drink or water?
4. Try to slow down. How quickly do you drink that glass? Slow it down, practice being mindful and enjoy.
5. Keep track of how many drinks you consume. Just by monitoring this, you’ll bring it into your awareness & are likely to drink less.
6. Plan your moderation goal ahead of time and write it down.For extra accountability, share your goal with a supportive friend.
Step 5: The pursuit of pleasure
For my clients on a weight loss journey, it’s essential to focus on pleasure over deprivation.
It’s exactly the same here. We need to naturally feed the neurotransmitters that we usually artificially feed with drink.
Gaba– the anti-anxiety neurotransmitter. When gaba is low, we feel anxious and worried. People who have low gaba say they drink to relax.
Serotonin– our natural anti-depressant. People who have low serotonin say they drink for fun.
Dopamine– responsible for focus and motivation. People who have low dopamine say they drink to connect and engage.
We can nourish all of these neurotransmitters in more natural ways. I highly recommend the TED Talk ‘Gray Area Drinking’ by Jolene Park, where she uses the acronym NOURISH to give us 7 ways to feed our neurotransmitters naturally.
And here’s some other ways to nourish your neurotransmitters:
1. Notice nature.Spend more time in nature, whether walking through trees or being by the ocean. Just 20 minutes is enough to see your gaba, serotonin and dopamine rise.
2. Observe your breath. A few minutes focusing on your breathing gives you a calm response and your gaba, serotonin and dopamine a boost.
3. Unite with others. Hug, play with your pets or have a massage. That sense of touch again boosts your gaba, serotonin and dopamine levels.
4. Eat to replenish. Healthy protein, fats and carbs will help increase your gaba, serotonin and dopamine.
5. Move. Exercise is one of the best ways to replenish your neurotransmitters.
6. Be still.Even if just for a few short minutes, sitting in silence or meditating can make a huge difference.
7. Get creative.Choose your favourite activity – gardening, painting, writing, crafting or creating anything you love – to give your neurotransmitters a lift.
So my social experiment continues! I’m busy building evidence that sober socialising is indeed fun, and forever on my mission for more human connection and fun in life.
But I’m really, really sure I’m not alone in wanting to drink less, without becoming a hermit or ever having fun again.
If this resonates with you in any way, I’d love to hear from you (you’ll always find me over in our private Facebook community!).
If you’d like to find out more about my coaching programs – focused on transforming your habits, looking at all areas of nourishment & changing your lifestyle – just click here for more details.
And finally, if you have any reason to think you might be at risk from alcohol addiction and might experience withdrawal symptoms – then it’s essential to consult a medical doctor.
I can’t wait to share with you how this experiment unfolds!
Until next time,
Fran