“I’m lazy and lack willpower.”
‘I’m disgusting and can’t stop eating junk.’
‘I’m not an
‘I’ve no self-control and just can’t stick to anything.’
‘I’m fat and will never look good in a bikini.’
Most of us are complete bitches to ourselves. It seems we just can’t help ourselves.
Hands up if you’ve said any of the above statements to yourself? And worse, believed them? I’m willing to guess you have your hand up (as do I).
We let our inner mean girl take over. And as the years pass, we tell ourselves the same damaging story SO many times that we have no choice to believe it. Or do we?
We are the authors of our own story – and we can re-write our own story at any
So many of us make the mistake of thinking our identity is fixed, believing it’s just the person we were born to be. But that isn’t true. If we can develop a growth mindset around our identity and
If weight loss is your goal, then you MUST look at your identity.
The story you tell yourself is a crucial piece of this puzzle.
The mainstream diet industry completely sidesteps this critical work and focuses mainly on food. But if you
Let me tell you a story about a bunch of ladies I coached last year.
In May, I suggested we enter a Tough Mudder obstacle race. These ladies were only a few months into their nutrition coaching journey and I saw the look of terror in their eyes! But since the race wasn’t until December, I managed to convince lots of my clients to join me in this challenge.
I’ll be honest. I’d never done an obstacle race either. But for me, the move from “I’m not the kind of person who does races like this” to obstacle course racer was a smoother transition, because I already thought of myself as a fit person and as an
There was a LOT of work to be done in the months that followed. And not just reps in the gym. This was a mental game.
Some of these ladies first had to identify as regular exercisers, to make the massive leap to obstacle course racer. During those months, we got the mental reps in as well as the gym- based ones. We challenged deep-rooted beliefs, we broke up with our old selves and moved towards a new leaner, healthier fitter version. It was all very powerful life-changing stuff.
The date got closer & the usual banter ensued. We all started looking up the obstacles with fear. Obstacles called ‘Electric Shock Therapy’, ‘Shawshanked’ and ‘Birth Canal’.
Then the day came to prove to ourselves that we
We slid into ice baths, jumped from gigantic platforms into water, swam in mud, crawled in
The exhilaration and pride that we all experienced after emerging from the 10,000 volts of electricity in the very last obstacle were immense.
Above all else, I know that at the end of that race, everyone’s belief in themselves and their self-identity was changed forever. Just by competing, we’d proved to ourselves that we were the type of people who took part in these kinds of events. And that will not change.
After we finished the race, my client Christine said:
“If you told me a year ago that I would not only participate in but complete all obstacles in the Tough Mudder, I’d have said you were crazy.
“I started my journey with Fran with lots of barriers. I didn’t consider myself fit or athletic, and to top it off I was the queen of excuses.”
Christine firmly identified as a creative type, she excels in her professional life and as a creative mummy. In telling herself she had never been athletic, she was also telling herself she just wasn’t that type of person. Until she dug deep and the story changed.
“With Fran’s amazing support, we identified Tough Mudder as one of my many goals. And lo and behold, with the right mindset, nutrition & fitness, I somehow got myself across that finish line.
“This was an absolute game changer…and better yet, it was one of the funniest days of my life! Today I am still on the right path, still living and loving the habits Fran taught me. And I’m looking forward to doing another Tough Mudder later this year!”
I feel SO grateful to have the privilege to be part of this journey with my clients. I get to walk (run & jump) alongside them, as they make life-changing developments. Not only for
For me, this step of finally becoming an obstacle course racer led me to take part in another more challenging race in February – where I qualified for the Obstacle Course World Championships in London in October. There’s no doubt that if I’ve never taken the first steps to put together our little Tough Mudder team, I’d never have achieved this.
So. Ask yourself. Who are you? What story are YOU telling yourself?
And then once you’re clear on your current identity – who do you WANT to be? Because you get to decide. You get to choose!
Long-term results are best achieved when you focus on your identity & not just on your goal. Maybe you’ll decide to be the type of person that exercises every day. If so, what small thing can you do today to start becoming that person? And proving to yourself that this IS who you are now?
By slowly adopting the daily practices of the person we want to become
As James Clear said in the book ‘Atomic Habits’, “true
Here are 5 simple steps YOU can follow, to start making a meaningful change in your life:
- Identify the story you are telling yourself. What is your identity right now? Both positive and not so positive?
- What parts of that identity serve you?
- What parts of that identity would you like to change?
- Write a letter to your old self, acknowledging how your old self has been amazing. But that you need to break up with her now (or some of the
behaviours that no longer serve who you’re becoming).
Take some time to
It’s an important step (trust me – even if writing it feels a bit weird!). Because we can’t change until we acknowledge that our current identity isn’t quite right and needs a little bit of a revamp mentally.
- Each time you find yourself being the mean girl, catch the thought and change it. This takes practice and repetition but the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
If you’re ready to start working on YOUR identity and want to surround yourself with
We’d really love for you to join us!
Fran x
P.S Who’s in for a Tough Mudder? November 2019!